


Fear of Thunderstorms

by karog



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:42:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3731047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karog/pseuds/karog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's raining and there is a huge thunder over Skyhold. Cullen finds out that the Inquisitor's greatest fear is... a thunderstorm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was always wondering what would Cullen do with that hole in his roof if it was raining. Does it never rain in Skyhold? Impossible!

The weather was awful. Cullen was sure he'd never seen such a storm in his entire life. Lightnings were crossing the sky every minute and thunderclaps were roaring loudly, making everyone uneasy. The rain was heavy and the yard was already muddy, full of big puddles. Cullen sighed heavily as he glanced towards his office. He cursed himself for going to the tavern in the evening. It wasn't that bad when had left his office earlier, the storm got worse only several minutes ago and it didn't look like it was going to pass quickly so there was no point in waiting. Besides, his chamber wasn't that far away. 

He ran forward, trying to cover his hair, knowing that it was pointless. He started wondering whether he had enough of the lotion to tame his curls tomorrow morning when he heard a loud thunder followed by a silent shriek. 

He stopped and looked around but he saw no one. He was beginning to believe he just misheard it but then there was a silent, muffled sobbing coming from the small tents to his left. He quickly moved towards them and popped his head under one of them. 

If someone had told him he was going to find there Inquisitor Trevelyan cowering and crying, he would have never believed it. 

"Inquisitor?" he said, trying to be louder than rain "What are you doing here?" 

She looked at him with her big, green eyes. She was terrified, soaking wet and shivering from being cold. Or maybe it was because of fear? He didn't know but he also didn't intend to wait for her explanation. 

"Come on, let's get you out of here" he said, reaching his hands towards her. 

She looked at him, insecurity and embarrasment lingering on her face. Then, another thunder came and she shrieked and flinched. She quickly grabbed his hand and let him lead her towards his chamber. 

When they entered his room, he sighed with relief and turned to face her. 

"Evelyn? What happened?" he asked. She always insisted for him to call her by her first name and with time he finally got used to it. 

"You'll laugh" she mumbled silently, lowering her head. 

"I won't, I promise" he reassured "Did someone do something to you?" he continued, knowing that if someone hurt her, he would simply kill them. 

"No, no... nothing like that..." she said and looked at him helplessly "I just... don't like thunderstorms..." 

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The woman who fought demons, bandits and all sorts of terrible creatures was standing there and shivering with fear of... thunder. He couldn't help himself and smirked. 

"See!" she exclaimed in an accusatory tone "I knew you were going to laugh!" she approached the door and put a hand on a door handle ready to leave but then she heard another thunder and jumped away from the door. 

"Don't go, I'm sorry" Cullen said quickly, reprimanding himself in his mind for ruining the moment in which he could be alone with her. These moments were extremely rare and he wanted to cherish every second she was around him without the necessity to call him 'Commander'. 

She scowled at him and shrieked when there was another roaring coming from the sky. 

"It's just a thunder" Cullen said "Why are you so afraid of it?" he asked. 

She looked at him with hesitation, trying to decide whether it was all right to tell him the story. 

"If you don't want to say..." he started but she interrupted him suddenly. 

"It was when I was little. I was ten years old and..." she sighed heavily and closed her eyes. Thinking about her childhood always made her depressed. "Well, I was sitting with my sister in our chamber. We were playing dolls. And suddenly there was a huge thunder and I got scared, and I... well, I froze the dolls. It was the first time that my magic revealed. Maggie started screaming with fear, calling our parents and I just... freaked out, I guess. I ran out of the house straight into the woods. I was running until I realized I didn't know where I was, so I just found a small cave, crawled into it and waited. It was raining and the thunder... it was really huge, more or less the same as this one now. I was terrified, I knew my parents were going to give me away to the Circle. I spent the whole night in that cave, praying to the Maker for the thunder to stop and for him to take my magic away" 

She had tears welling up in her eyes and Cullen felt an unstoppable urge to take her into his arms and tell her that she didn't need to be afraid anymore. Instead, he put a hand on her shoulder and smiled gently. He would never again laugh at her fear of thunder. 

"What you need is a distraction" he finally said "Would you like to play chess with me? I think my board is somewhere upstairs" 

She gave him a warm smile and wiped out the tears that fell down her face. "I would like that very much" she said. 

Cullen quickly moved towards the ladder, grinning to himself at the thought of spending some time with her. 

Then, he remembered. There was a huge hole in his roof. 

_Maker, the rain..._


	2. Chapter 2

"Uhm... Commander?" she looked around the room with a mixture of surprise and amusement "Is your roof leaking?" she asked. 

Cullen looked around the room noticing for the first time the big puddles that formed in some places. 

"There's one way to put it" he answered, trying to think quickly of a possible solution to this problem. The rain was actually getting heavier and heavier and he was so terrified to see the state of his bed upstairs. 

"What do you mean?" she said with curiosity and climbed the ladder without even waiting for his consent. 

"Inquisitor, I don't think you should go there!" he quickly spoke up but she acted as if she didn't hear him. 

"Maker's breath, Commander!" he heard her terrified exclamation and quickly followed her. 

It actually was worse than he had expected. Everything, literally everything was wet. There was a huge puddle forming on his bed and he realized he would have to ask for new furniture. He sighed heavily when he noticed all his personal belongings soaking with water. 

"Come on, maybe we can still save something!" she said quickly and began gathering his things. If it was anyone else, he would have thought it utterly inappropriate and rude. But it was her... so he quickly helped her with bringing his stuff down the ladder, realizing that she suddenly stopped hearing the thunder, even though it was still very loud and violent. She was so focused on the task that it actually kept her from flinching each time there was a loud roaring coming from the sky. 

"Quickly, take the reports from your desk, we don't know how long it is going to rain and whether it won't start leaking in other places, too" she said after they finished cleaning up upstairs and put all the things in one of the trunks. Cullen reprimanded himself silently as he hadn't thought about such important issues earlier. He quickly grabbed all the essential things from his desk and put them in the trunk. 

"All right" she said "Now, I'll grab it from one side, you take the other and let's quickly go to my room" 

Cullen looked at her with wide eyes and felt his heart started beating a lot faster. 

"Don't just stare at me like that, I can't carry it by myself" she hurried him impatiently as she reached for the trunk. 

"But... Inquisitor..." he started but she didn't let him finish. 

"Do you want to stay and soak here?" she asked, her voice irritated but her face enlightened with amusement. She actually enjoyed the whole situation and Cullen couldn't help it but grinned as he grabbed the trunk and opened the door. 

They walked quickly, trying not to slip in the mud. The weather seemed to have stabilized and Cullen thought it was fortunate that the thunderstorm was no longer ravaging the sky. He hated seeing the Inquisitor scared. 

At the exact moment he had this thought in his mind, everything went white for a second as the lightning crossed the sky and it was immediately followed by an exceptionally loud thunder. It must have hit the ground really close to them. He felt his hand pulled down to the ground as the Inquisitor let the trunk out of her hand and stopped suddenly, shrieking and pulling her hands to her face. Cullen quickly approached her and not thinking too much, he embraced her strongly. She was sobbing quietly as Cullen cradled her gently. 

After a couple of seconds, he realized the level of inappropriateness was much too high for him and backed away from her. They looked at each other with shock, both fearing the other person's reaction. 

"Come on, the rain is getting worse again" she mumbled and grabbed the trunk again. 

When they finally entered her chamber, they both felt tired and relieved to find themselved in a warm and dry place, yet Cullen decided not to embarrass himself any longer. 

"Thank you, Inquisitor, for taking care of my belongings" he said, standing straight, just as if he was giving her another report in the War Room. "I will have someone bring them back when my roof is fixed" he continued, putting a hand on a door handle, intending to leave as quickly as possible. 

"It's Evelyn" she said silently and he stopped, turning to face her. 

"My lady?" he spoke up, unsure of what he heard. 

"No" she chuckled "Evelyn. Not the Inquisitor, not lady, most certainly not the Herald. Just Evelyn" 

She smiled. Cullen thought it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen in his life. He admired her adorable dimples forming on both sides of her face, admired the small wrinkles that appeared near her eyes, admired her whole beauty. 

"Commander?" she asked when he didn't answer. 

"Cullen" he simply said and also gave her a warm smile. 

"Right, Cullen" she grinned "I don't suppose it would be a good idea to go back to your chamber. What would you do there, swim?" 

He chuckled and thought she was actually right. There was no point in beginning any reperations when it was still raining and besides, it was almost night. Then, he realized, he had no place to sleep that night. 

"No, Inqui-... I mean, Evelyn. You're right, there's no point in going back there now" he said, waiting for her further instructions. Would she tell him to go and find somewhere dry to sleep? Or maybe she would tell him to go the tavern, they must have some spare beds... There was also a couch in the War Room, he could use that. He stopped wondering about his miserable sleeping situation when he noticed Evelyn was shaking. 

"Maker, you must be freezing!" he exclaimed, approaching her and putting his hands on her arms. 

"It's n-not that b-bad" she answered chattering her teeth. "B-besides, you must be cold, too. C-come on. I'll go change my clothes and then you can go and change yours, maybe you'll find something relatively dry in the trunk?" she said and moved to another room. 

Cullen didn't intend to just stand there and wait for her. He approached the fireplace and saw the fire was nearly gone, so he quickly started fixing it. They needed to warm up. Then, he moved to his trunk to find some clothes to change. 

After some time, they were both sitting by the fireplace on the floor, both in dry clothes and glasses of wine in their hands. 

"I didn't realize your hair are _that_ curly!" she said, laughing at his hairstyle. 

"Ugh..." he snorted "They tend to get that look when they're wet" 

"I understand now why Varric gave you such nickname" Evelyn continued grinning, seeing her Commander blushing and nervously trying to make his hair look better. "Oh, leave it be. I like them" she reassured and Cullen felt a pleasant warmth pouring over his body as he smiled at her. 

"So, you promised me a game of chess" she continued. 

"Oh, right. The board should be somewhere..." he said, approaching the trunk and searching for his chessboard. When he finally found it, he groaned with disappointment. 

"What is it?" she asked, trying to glance over his shoulder. 

"It's ruined" he answered, showing her something that must have been a chessboard at some point. "The rain ruined it" 

She couldn't help but giggle at his annoyance "That's your punishment for living with the hole in your roof. What were you thinking by the way, why didn't you fix it earlier?" she asked. 

They spent the whole night talking and laughing. They were telling stories from their lives, both pleasant and unpleasant. They laughed as they were talking about the Inquisition members and their adventures. She told him stories from her missions, he told her stories about the new recruits. They didn't notice when they emptied the whole bottle of wine, didn't notice when the thunderstorm stopped and the rain was no longer tapping the windows. 

Suddenly, Cullen realized that Evelyn had fallen a sleep with her head on his lap. She looked so peacefully as she let out steady breaths, still holding her glass which was now empty. He smiled at her serene expression when he noticed she was still smiling gently through her sleep. His heart was beating fast again but this time it wasn't because of embarrassment but because of his sudden realization that he had fallen in love. 

He enjoyed the moment of peace for a couple of minutes. Then, he took away their glasses and gently pulled her in his arms to lay her on her bed. 

"Cullen..." she mumbled through her sleep and he just grinned widely, hoping her dreams were good. Stroking her hair, he covered Evelyn with a blanket and silently left the room in a search of a place to sleep for a couple of hours. 

Three days later, he was standing in his chamber. The roof was repaired, the furniture was replaced and Cullen was ready to get back to work. 

When he approached his desk, he noticed a square package, wrapped in some paper. He took a piece of paper attached to it and smiled widely when he read it. 

_Cullen, don't forget, you promised me a game of chess!_

In the package, he found a brand new chessboard.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, never planned to continue this but I guess such things happen ;)

Cullen was sitting by his desk, wondering how in the Maker's name he was able to ruin everything. He knew perfectly that the Inquisitor had a horribly difficult time after the events in the Adamant Fortress. He saw sadness lingering in her eyes when she told him that everything was all right with her. Of course, she was lying. First, she fell right into the Fade, then she got back all her memories and finally, she left Hawke behind. One of the events might have been difficult but all three, one after another? She had to be devastated. However, she was good at concealing her feelings and Cullen had enough time to notice this strange behavior of hers. Evelyn hardly ever admitted something was wrong. Usually, she just wore a mask of carelessness, added an sarcastic comment and bottled up every feeling she might have had. Cullen knew it wasn't healthy for her and intended to do everything he could to make her trust him. After their first kiss, he felt as if he was the happiest man in the world. He wanted to be not only her lover but also her best friend. 

And then, when he got a chance to see her opening up to him, he ruined it. 

Of course, he had to ruin it with his withdrawal. When she came to him it was clear that she needed to talk. He should have taken care of her, he should have listened to her and should have cheered her up. But no, he almost hit her with that damn box and told her he needed time to be alone. _Perfect, Rutherford. Just perfect._ He thought bitterly and stood up, intending to fix his mistake. It wasn't late yet, Evelyn probably wasn't sleeping, he just needed to find her, apologize and _listen_.   
He left the room, locking the door behind him and looked at the sky with worry. Storm was coming their way again. It probably was going to be heavy, judging by the clouds and Cullen shuddered, remembering Evelyn's reaction to the last thunderstorm that came over Skyhold. He needed to find her and fast. 

He went through the yard, making sure that people were prepared for heavy rain, being grateful that he had finally had his roof fixed and he smirked when noticed that everything was under control. Merchants already hid their wares and were now moving towards the tavern. The horses were safely tied in the stables and Master Dennet assured him there was no way that they could escape during a thunderstorm. He met Blackwall on his way and the man told him that he was heading towards the tavern. Cullen thought with amusement that probably the only person who could be happy with the weather would be the bartender at Herald's Rest because it seemed that many people sought shelter there. 

Deciding not to waste any more time, the Commander moved towards the Inquisitor's room, noticing the first raindrops falling on the ground. However, when he approached the door he found them locked. He looked at guards stationed by the door and asked them: "Do you know where the Inquisitor is?" 

"Commander!" one of the soldiers saluted "The Inquisitor left her room around two hours ago" 

Cullen held back the urge to roll his eyes as this wasn't exactly the answer to his question. 

"I can see that she's not in her room" he said patiently "I'm asking if you know where she went" 

"She said she was going for a walk, sir" the other soldier spoke up. 

"Thank you" Cullen responded and turned around. 

At first he wasn't stressed, thinking that Evelyn would probably just go back to her room soon after seeing the weather but he looked for her almost everywhere and she was nowhere to be found. He asked her closest companions but nobody had seen her the whole day and it made Cullen uneasy. It wasn't like her to just disappear and when he heard the first thunder roaring from not so far away, he seriously started to worry. 

Moving towards the tavern, he hoped he would meet her there but he hadn't expected so many people gathering in one place at the same time. It seemed that half of the Inquisition flocked at Herald's Rest. 

"Curly!" he heard Varric's voice calling to him from one of the tables. He was surprised to see Varric there as he knew Hawke was his close friend but then, Cullen thought that this probably was Varric's way of dealing with his sadness. Spending time with his friends. "You found her yet?" the dwarf asked when Cullen managed to get to the small group sitting together, probably getting ready to play cards. "Join us, we could use extra players" 

"Not now, Varric" Cullen answered still looking around the tavern. 

"You're worried" Cole spoke up, fixing his gaze on the Commander and Cullen felt unpleasant shivers going down his spine "She's closed but you want her to open. She's not there but she needs to be there" the boy continued and all the companions were looking at him with curiosity "I didn't know she was afraid of thunderstorms" Cole added and Cullen sighed with relief noticing that he finally stopped digging in his brain "We need to find her. We need to help" 

"Can you find her, Kid?" Varric asked. 

"Not from here. There's too many people, it's too loud" Cole answered and stood up. 

Varric and Cole left the tavern with Cullen and the three of them were standing in front of the door. The rain was now getting heavier and heavier and thunder was approaching Skyhold extremely quickly, making the sky tear apart with a bright light from time to time. Cullen felt his heart beating faster as minutes passed, realizing that he should be with her, take her mind away from the weather. 

"Cold, so cold" Cole suddenly spoke up with uneasy voice "Soaking wet, shivering, terrified. She's outside" 

"Of course, she's outside, I checked all the rooms..." Cullen started irritated but Cole interrupted him immediately. 

"No, outside the walls, in the forest" 

Cullen's heart skipped a beat and his eyes grew wider when he heard this particular piece of information. Wasn't that exactly the reason why she was afraid of thunderstorms? Getting lost in the forest? 

"We have to find her!" Cullen shouted, trying to be louder than the rain "Can you take me to her?" 

Cole simply nodded and moved forward with Varric not leaving his side. They walked past the Skyhold gates, trying to cover themselves from the rain but it was already so heavy that it was pointless. The storm started and it was the most violent storm Cullen had witnessed in his life. Thunders were striking one after another, roaring so loud that it was almost impossible to hear anything else. Cole was walking straight ahead all the time, never hesitating with direction and Varric was following him, cursing under his nose. 

Finally, they stopped and Cole pointed towards a cave. 

"She's there" he said and looked expectantly at Cullen "She wants you to find her" 

Hearing his words, Cullen quickly ran towards the cave, leaving his companions behind. He didn't even thank them for their help and he promised himself he was going to do it later. 

"Evelyn?!" he screamed when he was getting closer and heard weak sobbing coming from the inside. 

And then he saw her. She was cowering by the wall, pulling her knees to her chin and hiding her face in her hands. Soaking wet, she was crying loudly and shivering either with cold or with fear, Cullen didn't know. 

"Evelyn, what are you doing here?" he said, approaching her quickly and tilting her face so that she was looking at him. Her eyes were wide and filled with horror. Suddenly, there was a loud thunder hitting the ground somewhere near and she shrieked terrified, putting her hands on her ears and closing her eyes. Cullen embraced her firmly and cradled in his arms, noticing how cold she was. 

"Shh... I'm here" he said "Come, let's go home" 

He picked her up in his arms and she clung to him, burying her face in his neck. Cullen was walking as fast as he could, holding Evelyn tightly, whispering words of reassurance each time she whimpered at the sound of a thunder. 

He put her on the ground only when they entered her room. 

"Go, change into some dry clothes" he instructed her and although she was still frightened, she listened to him and disappeared behind the corner. He took of his cloak and hung it on the chair next to a fireplace, hoping that it would dry up soon. This time he didn't have to worry about lighting the fire as the servants already took care about that so he was just waiting for her to come back, trying to warm up by the fire. 

When she entered the room again, her head lowered and she started sobbing again. 

"Cullen, I'm so sorry..." she said quietly and he quickly approached her and held her again. 

"You've got nothing to be sorry about" he said, taking her hand and dragging her towards her bed. "Come, you have to warm up" 

When she was laying in her bed, covered with warm fur, Cullen finally felt he was able to breath easy again. 

"You must think I'm terribly stupid" she said and looked at him with tears falling down her cheeks. He quickly wiped away her tears with his thumbs and cupped her face. 

"Reckless, maybe. Stupid, never" he answered and smiled warmly. 

"I just..." she started and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly "I needed some space" she admitted reluctantly, seeming ready to tell him everything. And this time Cullen would listen. 

"I'm not Andraste's chosen" she started "I mean... I suspected it wasn't possible but now I know it. I remember now. It wasn't Andraste who saved me but Justinia and part of me..." she hesitated "Part of me thinks I should have died and she should have lived. Part of me thinks I am the reason she's dead. Everybody believes in me and I'm just a fraud, nothing more" 

"Don't say that..." Cullen started but when she didn't let him finish, he realized she just needed to throw out every bitter emotions she had bottled up. 

"I have no idea what I'm doing half of the time. I just go with my gut feeling and that's it. You all have so much experience, you know what you're doing and I just feel like a helpless child. People are counting on me, Cullen, and I failed them, I failed everybody" she was speaking fast, crying all the time and breathing heavily "And I killed Hawke" she finally choked "I killed her, I'm the reason she died! I should have been the one to stay in the Fade and fight, I had no right to ask her to sacrifice herself. What about the ones who loved her? How can I ever look into Varric's face again?" 

She stayed silent for a moment but Cullen didn't say anything, noticing how she was still gathering her thoughts and how much she needed to be listened. He just hugged her strongly and cradled her in his arms, stroking her hair. 

"I shouldn't be the Inquisitor" Evelyn finally whispered "I shouldn't lead. People deserve better" 

"Evelyn" Cullen finally said, seeing that she told him everything. He tilted her head with his fingers and looked at her face covered with tears. "You are the bravest and the strongest person I have ever known. You walk into danger everyday and you fight it no matter what. You do what you can for people and that's why they trust you. Not because you're the Inquisitor, not because you're the Herald of Andraste but because you care about them. You... You have a spark inside you and it gives people hope. Don't let the world take that spark away" 

"But I'm so scared" she whispered. 

"I'm here for you" he answered immediately "And I will always be here for you" 

They spent some time in silence, Cullen holding her firmly and Evelyn clinging to him desperately. 

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she whispered and he smiled, feeling warmth pouring over his heart. 

"I will" he simply answered and kissed her deeply. 

Cullen promised himself that he would never allow anything or anyone come between them.


End file.
